Just Thinking

I am sitting here unable to sleep.  I have spent the past days shopping, packing, and organizing. I lay awake at night thinking about minute details.  I am a person who likes to have control over a situation.  The things I can control-what to pack, exchanging money, making lists for people who are helping out with the house and pets while we're gone-I am attacking those with zeal.  It keeps me from pondering what a leap of faith this whole process is.  Every so often my head clears and I think about what I have little control over.  I don't know what region we will end up in Ukraine until we get there.  I don't know how long we'll be there.  I don't know her name or face.  With all the unknowns, you'd think a control freak like myself would be stressed. Instead, I feel most at peace when I think about the unknowns.  It's because I feel like she has already been chosen for us and we just have to enjoy our journey to her.  I used to think that it's so great that she has no idea her life is about to change dramatically.  That it would be so wonderful to see the look on her face when she realized she was being adopted.    A friend told me that she said a prayer that our little girl would know peace from now until she's adopted. Peace in knowing that she will soon be a part of a family.  I love that!  I'd much rather see the look of expectancy on her face when she meets us-I knew you'd come.