Hi Folks,
I'm sure you're wondering what has become of me. It's been a stressful few days. I got here on Wed. night and we spent all day Thurs., Friday, and Sat. running down paperwork. After some confusion, I was allowed to pick up Masha on Friday night. Let's say our first day together was not great. She said "No" to everything I asked her. I couldn't help thinking, "What have we done?" I got back to Ann and Bill's house and had a great talk with them. I then called Mike and Brynn and they all convinced me that I needed a good night's sleep and that would help. The biggest problem is with her passport. They can't tell me when it will be ready. It could be a week or two or three. The passport office is closed for a while because they're moving. They say it will open next week but anyone who knows the Ukrainian govt. knows this is nothing you can count on. The thought of being here indefinitely without the rest of my immediate family was more that I could bear. Also, the system here is disheartening. I felt so beaten down. After much thought and consideration, I have decided to head back to America and Mike will come and finish up the paperwork and bring Masha home. While we're waiting for the paperwork to be finished, Masha will stay with Ann and Bill and their great church friends. Masha looks at Ann and Bill as grandparents and she loves the young girls from their church. I kow it's not the ideal solution but it's the best I can come up with. I worry about Viktor if I'm gone for weeks more. Though I'm grateful to all those who have pitched in and helped, it's hard on him to go from place to place. I will be home Wed. night and will need a few days to settle back in. Masha is fine with it all since she doesn't know how it's supposed to work anyways. She is happy to hang out with her new "family" and friends. I am so thankful to them for their generosity. As long as she knows she's going to America sometime, she's okay. Oh, she's also made great behavioral gains already in just 2 days. She doesn't have tantrums and gets over things easily. Things she was saying no to a few days ago she now does without being asked. There's hope!!!
Thanks again for all your support and prayers. It helped me tremendously when I was feeling down. I am not wearing glasses as I write this, so forgive the typos.
11 comments:
Oh Cathy!
I remember those days with Katherine!
The best advice I can give is what I learned in retrospect. I was so exhausted while we were there and also after we got home. (With Jeff being in the hospital etc on top of everything else). I remember thinking I had made such a huge mistake by trying to bring this little girl home.. she was going to hate Jeff forever I thought, I was never going to bond with her. let alone lover her, and list went on. Now I look back and realize what a HUGE thing it was happening to her. Taken from everything she had ever known, having to learn a new language, leaving people who up until then had been her family. While I was over the top exhausted I completely disregarded what she must be feeling. It didn't really hit me until much later. Then I looked back and realized how silly I was to think things would never change and that she would be that way forever. Now she adores her daddy, we all love her like she was born to us and there are basically no discipline problems. I'm sure you know all this, but I just thought it would help to remember that things will get better!! LOTS and lots of HUGS to you!!!
You will do well and so will Masha. Tag teaming is one of the benefits of marriage and a strong family like yours. In no time this will all be but a faint memory as you look upon your united family sitting around the table at the Cheesecake Factory in SoCal. God has blessed you all. Take care and have a safe trip home.
Thanks for the support guys. Things are already so much better. I appreciate all of you.
Cathy
My cousins experienced something very similar with their then nine-year-old when she and her sister first came home - lots of "ya ne boo do!" ("I don't want it"; "I don't want to"). As others have indicated, things turned around pretty fast and are fine now - they have two loving, well-attached and precious daughters. Patience, a sense of humor, lots of affection and reassurance, and flash cards to help with communication really helped speed things up.
I'm glad to know things are going better with Masha...it's a huge change for her and she's trying to hang onto a sense of self while her world is being turned upside down. Keep on keeping on!
Best wishes,
Susan in Ky,
cousin to two from Ukraine
OMG, Ann will be so good to her, she was a teacher. I'm pretty sure Ann's helping her already with English, less work for me. I can't wait to meet her! I will be more than happy to help you with her Cathy. Looking forward to the 2 days that I get to spend with Viktor, hel'll have fun with Fernando. Everything will be fine, I so envy you and Mike. I can never do it.
Someone else's blog says the passport office opens again Sept. 6, hope that helps, even if it's a delay you know the time frame...The three weeks Z and I spent together waiting for his passport were the hardest. However, we bonded 100% by the time we landed at home and our transition home was peaceful! I am praying for God's strength for you and grace!
Have a safe trip home, Cathy. I'm sorry I won't get to see you and Masha in Kiev, but it sounds like you are doing what is best for you and your family.
Lisa Ketola
Sorry things have not turned out as planned. Look at it as labor that you, and now Mike BOTH get to go through with no meds, and when you get home you will have your "baby" and forget all about the pain. HAHAHAHAHA!
See you when you get home,
Louise
Cathy, it was great to see you for that brief moment at school. I hope things work out and I'm praying for the best possible scenario. You are such a great mother to Masha already. She will grow up to appreciate you and all your love and care for her.
Kevin will be with our facilitator tomorrow and I will try to get some answers from him. This may be region specific, I don't know. I will see what I can find out for you tomorrow.
Passport office does seem to be open. They were issuing last week. You might check with the facilitator again. We did ours today.
Tammy
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